Freedom

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© Lozan Yamolky

 

The void in my soul
that used to be yours to fill
no longer fits you.

Get out of my life;
get out of my heart;
get out of my future!

Your ego has grown big;
there’s hardly any room,
even for me to be within myself;
how is this even possible?

The sweet words
that come out of your mouth
in the presence of others
are fake,
and they hurt me;
they cut like a razor.

Your presence aggravates me,
even hearing you breathe
suffocates me.

It is as if there is no longer enough air to breathe
for the two of us in this house.

Countless lonely nights;
I cried myself to sleep;
you lay next to me yet not with me;
withholding love and companionship
while you are by my side;
night after night, year after year.

Now you try to reach out wanting to touch me?
Now you miss me?
Now you want me?

Stop it!

Stop touching me –
Stop trying –
Stop acting!

I no longer enjoy the taste of food;
flowers have lost their fragrance;
even the rain drops,
falling from the sky on cold days,
cut like ice on my face
because my heart has stopped loving.

Our steps are no longer in sync when we walk;
we no longer understand each other’s words;
our eyes hardly meet;
I cannot recall the last time
my lips desired yours.

Time stands still when we are together;
the silence… is… killing… me.

Our love started in flames
and lit up the skies with beautiful fireworks
for all to witness, enjoy and admire;
it is ending with molten lava
that is burning everything in its path;
even melting rocks.

Everyone is taking refuge now
and hiding from us
because it is over.

I no longer love you.
I no longer want to be with you.
I am setting myself free.
Get out of my life!

_______________________

© Lozan Yamolky
From Poetry book: Counting Waves
Published by: Silver Bow in 2017

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